Delight in the little Ones

Tell us about your Moments of Grace from this past week.  Where did you and God finally meet up in your day to day?

One of  my daughters  just had her first baby, a boy who looks just like his Scottish grandfather and his father. Declan ( Gaelic meaning Good Man) looks exactly like both of them. No mistaking this little fellow for a girl!

Last Sunday, when  he was 12 days, all sixteen of us gathered for another daughter's birthday. It was a celebration of joy, laughter and grace. All we did was take turns holding Mary’s new born and laughing with our 18 month old granddaughter.

Both babies were THE centre of attention. We were all enchanted, delighted and happy to simply enjoy these little ones.When parents love and rejoice with every new birth and delight in the antics of their babies, older children are formed to love and respect new life.

Take Eva's Dad,  our son, for example.

Just after his daughter’s birth, my son turned to his dad and said,

”Dad, I think that this is the best thing that I have ever done in my life.”

And as his little daughter lay sleeping on his chest, Daniel said,

”Now I know why you and Dad had so many Kids.

Who Needs a Teddy Bear When You've Got a Teddy Baby?

Credit: babybygender.com

There is something about a baby's open, trusting gaze that literally draws love from us.

A newborn can see clearly to about 8", just far enough to focus intently on his mother's face. It is almost as if the initiative to bond comes from the baby first, especially when I consider the fierce hand grip that they are born with. To ensure that an infant is fed, he is born with the rooting reflex. These traits help to draw out strong protective love from both parents. For me it was almost a magical transformation from an exhausted woman in labour to a glowing mother adoring her newborn.
When the kids were little, I literally had to watch the clock to make sure everyone would get a chance to hold their new sibling . I think the children bonded to each other because even a toddler was given the privilege of holding the baby. With excitement twinkling in their eyes, barely containing their joy long enough to sit still while I propped up one of their little arms with a pillow, they looked extremely proud and pleased as they too held the baby.
Bedtime became something to look forward to for about three months after the birth of our newest addition. I would wrap the newborn tightly in a warm blanket and let each child cuddle up to a living and breathing teddy baby. This quiet time, to be alone with their sibling allowed warm, nurturing, love to flow between both children and it eliminated jealousy The focus was no longer just on the baby but attention focused on an older child and the baby.
As I nursed, it was easy to give the older children my mental and emotional attention by listening, talking, reading books to them, helping with homework and even playing with play dough with one hand. I can honestly say that no one resented all the time each newborn demanded because we were all part of caring for the baby. Little ones were proud to run for diapers, clothes or blankets and older kids would choose rocking or pushing a colicky baby in the buggy over washing dishes any day.
One of our family jokes concerns the day I managed to relate to five people at once! I was laying down on our bed, back to back with my husband as he read and I nursed a newborn. A toddler lay curled around my head, playing with my hair, I was fixing a knitting mistake for a seven-year old and talking to a ten year-old. I am pretty proud of that statistic.

Family = Community

Credit: Quad City Photos
Let little kids hold the new baby

Community starts when even the youngest child chips in to help.

When most women begin to mother, they tackle this new challenge like a new career; they see themselves as the CEO of a new company that demands all of their attention, time and energy. I too initially saw I saw myself as the most important person in my new company called my famil. I felt that I was the heart and soul of this family with everyone circling around me. I controlled the housework, cooking, laundry but most of all the children. I fed, washed, loved, taught and gently disciplined every child personally.

As I nursed, I tried to give the older children my mental and emotional attention by listening, talking, reading books to them, helping with homework and even playing with play dough with one hand. In fact, one afternoon I gave my attention to five people at once!!! I was laying down back to back while my husband read and I nursed a newborn. Claire was 18 months and she laid up at my head and played with my hair as she slowly drifted off for a nap. I was talking with my oldest daughter and simultaneously knitting as I fixed another daughter's mistakes. I could multi-task with the best of any CEO.

Slowly though, after the birth of my third child, I learned to let go of my pride and true community started to evolve. It was lovely to watch a toddler giggling as he picked up each toy tossed from the high chair by his baby brother. Or to encourage a relaxed nine-year old to entertain a two and three-year old who played in the tub for an hour to keep them clean and out of trouble before bedtime. Every seven-year old proudly read the same book over and over to a three-year old, freeing me to run the house.

I think the Holy Spirit was surrounding us. I can honestly say that no one resented all the time each newborn demanded because we were all part of caring for the baby. Little ones were proud to run for diapers, clothes or blankets and older kids would choose rocking or pushing a colicky baby in the buggy over washing dishes any day.

When the kids were little, I literally had to watch the clock to make sure everyone would get a chance to hold either our baby. I think the children bonded to each other because even a toddler was given the privilege of holding their newborn sibling. With excitement twinkling in their eyes, barely containing their joy long enough to sit still while I propped up one of their little arms with a pillow so the baby was safe. Toddlers would look extremely proud and pleased as they too held the baby.

I discovered something that most people are never taught. A family can love, play and work, sharing in the leisure time but also in all the chores that are part of family living. Mothers do not have to feel drained or burn out if they let go of perfectionism and their pride to let everyone chip in. Kids learn by doing. So relax, ignore the mess and let real family begin.