Family = Community

Credit: Quad City Photos
Let little kids hold the new baby

Community starts when even the youngest child chips in to help.

When most women begin to mother, they tackle this new challenge like a new career; they see themselves as the CEO of a new company that demands all of their attention, time and energy. I too initially saw I saw myself as the most important person in my new company called my famil. I felt that I was the heart and soul of this family with everyone circling around me. I controlled the housework, cooking, laundry but most of all the children. I fed, washed, loved, taught and gently disciplined every child personally.

As I nursed, I tried to give the older children my mental and emotional attention by listening, talking, reading books to them, helping with homework and even playing with play dough with one hand. In fact, one afternoon I gave my attention to five people at once!!! I was laying down back to back while my husband read and I nursed a newborn. Claire was 18 months and she laid up at my head and played with my hair as she slowly drifted off for a nap. I was talking with my oldest daughter and simultaneously knitting as I fixed another daughter's mistakes. I could multi-task with the best of any CEO.

Slowly though, after the birth of my third child, I learned to let go of my pride and true community started to evolve. It was lovely to watch a toddler giggling as he picked up each toy tossed from the high chair by his baby brother. Or to encourage a relaxed nine-year old to entertain a two and three-year old who played in the tub for an hour to keep them clean and out of trouble before bedtime. Every seven-year old proudly read the same book over and over to a three-year old, freeing me to run the house.

I think the Holy Spirit was surrounding us. I can honestly say that no one resented all the time each newborn demanded because we were all part of caring for the baby. Little ones were proud to run for diapers, clothes or blankets and older kids would choose rocking or pushing a colicky baby in the buggy over washing dishes any day.

When the kids were little, I literally had to watch the clock to make sure everyone would get a chance to hold either our baby. I think the children bonded to each other because even a toddler was given the privilege of holding their newborn sibling. With excitement twinkling in their eyes, barely containing their joy long enough to sit still while I propped up one of their little arms with a pillow so the baby was safe. Toddlers would look extremely proud and pleased as they too held the baby.

I discovered something that most people are never taught. A family can love, play and work, sharing in the leisure time but also in all the chores that are part of family living. Mothers do not have to feel drained or burn out if they let go of perfectionism and their pride to let everyone chip in. Kids learn by doing. So relax, ignore the mess and let real family begin.

The Fountain of Youth

Youth is not found in a bottle of vitamins or in a jar of face cream.

Advertizers have tapped into a universal craving to stop the relentless ravages of time in the human body by pushing countless gimmicks to keep us youthful. These products keep us healthy but the secret fountain of youth is not a thing to buy but rather an attitude, an inner way of living.

Mortals were created to connect with the light and energy of the unseen, the invisible Force/ Higher Power/ God who created them. I am not so arrogant as to believe that only one spirituality works. In fact many who call themselves atheists are in fact spiritual people in communion with nature They commune with the Spirit who infuses nature with his energy. Without this connection to the Holy Spirit we slowly become depleted of energy, drive and goodwill. And nothing, absolutely nothing can fill this hollow well within us but the Spirit of God.

There are countless ways to connect with the Spirit but as a mother, I discovered a secret, a secret few people seem to recognize. Living with little people keeps you young. Children live in the present moment, filled with awe at the discovery of a ladybug, fascinated with observing how sand spills through their fingers or completely absorbed as they create a clay sculpture. Mothers concentrate on giving love and nurture to their offspring but if we don't allow our little ones to nurture us we can become tired, empty and even resentful.

An infant touches our hearts when we gaze into their guileless eyes but there is much more grace that we can receive if we relax and allow their their love to flow into us! In the early, hectic years I would focus on trying to carve out quiet time to sit and replenish myself. One day while nursing one of my babies, I experienced a powerful surge of love pouring into my heart from my baby to me. I started smiling, heaviness and exhaustion lifted and joy started to bubble up from deep within me!In fact I discovered how to let my infant's love fill me. replenish me. energize me and infuse my heart with a fountain of youth.

Sunday Snippets--A Catholic Carnival

Hello, and welcome to Sunday Snippets--A Catholic Carnival. We are a group of Catholic bloggers who gather weekly to share our best posts with each other. To participate, go to your blog and create a post titled Sunday Snippets--A Catholic Carnival. In it, discuss and link to your posts for the week--whether they deal with theology, Catholic living or cute Catholic kids.
I am sharing two posts this week. The first tries to explain our extraordinary animals in the light of God's love and Presence.

Living Within a Triangle of Light

http://melaniejeanjuneau.wordpress.com/2012/12/06/living-within-a-triangle-of-light/

I wrote the next post in the format of a poem, simply to emphasize key words. The Call was published by Foundation Life.
THE CALL
http://melaniejeanjuneau.wordpress.com/2012/12/02/the-call/

Buried Alive in Laundry, Socks and Shoes

Credit: His and Hers
Try keeping track of shoes for 11 people

In a family of eleven, everything is a big deal.

Want a laugh today? Come take a peek into our house a few years ago.

Imagine twenty-two pieces of bread lined up in two rows on the table. Each sandwich is made with a particular person in mind because I did want them to actually eat the sandwiches at school and work. Even peanut butter sandwiches were complicated because some were made with jam or not, with thick or thin peanut butter, with butter under the peanut butter or not. A component of this chore was often a survey of the crew to see who wanted what in their lunch.

If that procedure wasn't daunting enough, I had to make sure that everyone had clean clothes and shoes to wear the next day. There were indoor and outdoor school shoes, decent runners and play runners, rain, barn and winter boots, skates, both play and good sandals, slippers, shoes to wear with dresses and dress shoe for the boys. This abbreviated list adds up to about TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTY-FOUR shoes with the potential to get lost, wet, dirty or become too small.

Of course it was an especially big deal when the seasons changed because we had to sort and put away the shoes that weren't needed for a couple of moths and decide which shoes could be passed down or were still big enough for the current owner.

I can still hear Claire yelling, as she organized the shoes,

"Daniel, you really don't want to keep these, do you?"

Daniel would protest,

"But Claire, they're so comfortable. I like them."

His big sister would retort,

"Fine, but if they get any worse looking, I am throwing them out."

Sock were even a bigger nightmare because the only thing that will kill you as a mother of a large family is pairing socks. Although I used the toss and throw method of pairing, some mornings found us frantically searching for some appearance of a pair in my gigantic basket of unpaired socks. At times I had to literally toss the newly discovered pair over the upstairs railing. One of my kids, who already had their coat and school bag on their back, would catch them in mid-air. They quickly pulled on their socks, stuffed their feet into boots or shoes and flew out the door, barely making the school bus.

Then there was laundry, sometimes three or four loads a day because I used cloth diapers and had barn clothes to wash on top of regular clothes. I hung out at least two loads on the outside clothesline every day. Because a gulley and pasture were on that side of the house, this line was visible from the road. Unbeknownst to me, my laundry was a subject of great interest and of subsequent conversation.

" Oh my God, look at all that laundry."

" There are two different loads on the line now"

"I have never seen that line empty"

"Stop the car, I simply must take a picture of the horse and pony with the laundry line in the background"

"This is hilarious; there is every size and style of clothing on that one line"

I sometimes I held folding marathons where I literally tossed each kid their clothes and we all folded together. Other days, I simply put a basket of clean, unfolded clothes in a basket in each room.

Yep life was messy and everything was a big deal but it was awfully funny because simple chores in a family of four became massive, logistic battles in a family of eleven, battles that often went horribly wrong. Case in point, bleach spotted coloured load and makeup or gum left in a pocket, staining all the clothes in the dryer. My personal favorite disaster was that load of mostly men's white shirts that turned pink,not a subtle pink but a shockingly bright pink. I still hear about that one!!

The Secret

The Secret to the

Survival of a

Humane Society.

Treasure each human,

No matter how

Little or

Weak.

Honour

Family

As its

Foundation,

A training ground

for living .

Because in

Family,

Divergent personalities

Co-exist in Joy.

Learn to live

Under the same roof.

Each member

Unique.

Often at odds.

Still part

Of the same

Family.

Laughter,

Humour,

Tolerance,

Forgiveness

Skills essentia.

For the Survival of a

Joyful

Family.

Simple Lessons

Lived out in

Family.

Simple Lessons  which are

The Secret

To the

Survival of Society.

The Foxy Fox and The Dumb Dog

The Dumb Dog

Remember those fables and stories about the clever fox that were read to you as a child? Well they are all based on fact.

A few years ago the male members of our family were out on the kitchen porch enjoying a cool twilight breeze after a hot summer day. Suddenly Anthony whispered,

"Don't move. There's a fox between Matt's truck and the car"

Michael quietly called the rest of us to join them. We were all startled to see a red fox, frozen in place with his head turned our way in surprise. It seemed to me that he he was thinking,

"I can hardly believe this! What are you doing out here? You're infringing on my territory, my time."

Turning, he started to leisurely trot across our backyard into some bushes between the corral and the barn, did a u-turn, ran up the hill to double doors of the barn, made another u-turn and then ran down the hill into the corn. Meanwhile our dog was running circles around the garage with his nose right to the ground following the scent the fox had laid to distract him.

Frustrated, by his gullible dog, Dad pointed and yelled,

"Shadow, the fox ran over there."

Shadow looked up, tore across the yard, dove into the bushes near the corral, did a u-turn, ran up the hill to the barn doors and down again, then raced after the fox. Of course the fox was long gone.

If this dog had used his eyes instead of his nose, he would have headed straight into the corn.That clever fox hadn't even been frightened nor in a terrible hurry as he laid his scent down because he knew exactly how to fool a dog. We just witnessed a reenactment of The Foxy Fox and The Dumb Dog.

Let new light shine insight into the role of mothers.

Raising children is definitely not a default chore for women who were not successful in the world of business, power and wealth.

A smile

for the wisdom of mothers

practical

intuitive

simple

clear.

Tears

for the suffering

necessary to acquire

wisdom

not knowledge.

Painful regret

for this hectic
modern
society
scrambling after
glitter
efficiency
success
while pushing
the wisdom of mothers
to the fringes of influence.

Joyful hope
that mothers
will reveal
their unique
wisdom
joy
strength
to a jaded
cynical
world
a world that has forgotten
that all is fleeting
except Love.

I Have Been Published

  I Have Been Published!                                             

 If  I can't brag to otherbloggers  about these little surprises, who can I brag to?

• Pro-life Blogs published two articles

              Why Did You Have So Many Kids?

http://www.prolifeblogs.com/articles/archives/2012/11/why_did_you_hav.php

             Nurturing Your Baby Before Birth

 http://www.prolifeblogs.com/articles/archives/2012/11/nurturing_your_1.php

• Article Chosen for Big Click Award on Catholic Bloggers Network

Readings and Reflections Category- Unless you Become Like Little Children

http://www.catholicbloggersnetwork.com/2012/11/big-clicks-awards-for-catholic-bloggers.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+CatholicBloggersNetwork+%28Catholic+Bloggers+Network%29

• Foundation of Life Published poem called Transformed

http://www.foundationlife.net/life-poetry/by-melanie-jean-juneau/

Also posted Why did you have So Many Kids? 

http://www.foundationlife.net/2012/why-did-you-have-so-many-kids/

• Pewsitter.com also posted Why Did You Have So Many Kids?

http://www.pewsitter.com/show/newssearch/result/1/time_ot/desc/0/

• 94 articles published on BrooWaHa 22,230 reads since Sept.10

http://www.broowaha.com/author/motherofnine9    

• Invited to write for BC Staff Blogs

Two articles so far Blogging Opens The Door To Writing

http://blog.blogcatalog.com/2012/blogging-opens-the-door-to-writin/

• BlogHer's  NaBloPoMo comments on 2nd last post- You should consider journalism

When Nursing is a Vocation Not Just A job

http://www.blogher.com/elaine-plummer-rn-nursing-vocation-not-just-job

http://www.blogher.com/nablopomo-golden-key-writer-s-soul Na BloPoMo: The Key To This Writer's Soul

Nursing: A Vocation Not A Job

The many faces of Elaine

 

                STAYING IN TOUCH WITH HER VIRTUAL PATIENTS

Elaine is a daughter, wife, mother, blogger, advocate for women's health but most of all,  a nurse.

relaxing with her husband and pet
 

Taping a new  post for  BlogHer

                

When I spoke to Elaine on the phone last week she was everything I had imagined her to be. With her charming southern accent, warm open and loquacious personality, I immediately connected with her.  Actually I could hardly contain my enthusiasm, cutting her off many times.  Elaine suggested that we talk about the times we spoke to our daughters about sexuality, menstruation in particular,

"I am sure that you are an expert, since you have six daughters!"

I panicked because I was awkward when I did speak to my girls. I hated to admit this to Elaine but we shared laughter when we discovered that we both had helped a daughter use tampons by standing outside the bathroom door and shouting directions and encouragement through a tiny crack in the doorway. Since Elaine has seen thousands of  naked women in the midst of childbirth, she found this experience with her shy daughter hilarious.

One of Elaine's biggest mandates is to improve mother/daughter communication about sexuality, starting with menstruation  Most mothers are confident that their girls could ask them anything. Ironically, those very same daughters, when questioned, are horrified by the suggestion that they would approach their mothers with questions about sexuality. Elaine is adamant that open communication between mothers and daughters is crucial and it cannot happen after a girl's first period. Long before that happens, mothers must make a conscious effort to plan private dates with their daughters be it a long car drive, a luncheon or shopping trip . Any event that is private and invites intimate sharing. This will form a  habit of confiding in each other for later years their daughters have serious worries or questions.

Her husband is the tall, quiet type, a perfect foil for this outgoing, confidant woman who loves to plunge right into the middle of things. At a recent event, as her husband eyed a spot at the back of the room, Elaine spotted the key-note speaker. Grabbing his hand, she excitedly headed for the front table and introduced herself. The main speaker immediately connected with Elaine of course, inviting them to sit down and join her. Her husband though simply was not comfortable sitting up front, on display in front of the entire crowd.

Even as a child, Elaine wanted to help people by becoming a nurse. In fact she was a natural. For example when a neighbour suffered a sever cut, it was twelve-year old Elaine who calmly applied pressure to the wound while everyone one else ran around in a panic.

Her last hospital job was in Maternity and she loved it because everyday brought new challenges and new women to relate to. She studied for her Masters in Nursing and would  have loved to become a midwife but that involved a long commute and as a young mother, it simply was not an option. Even when she was a spokesperson for Tampax in public relations answering consumers questions, Elaine has always kept up her RN status by taking refresher classes and written tests. She is a nurse above all else.

Friends, relatives, neighbours all know this, turning to Elaine as their health expert. She  spends a lot of professional time answering health related questions from a variety of professionals as well.  Even when she does not know the facts, she researches them and then relates them in a way that is more understandable than just reading the medical literature. Elaine  really cares  about and loves people, taking the time to help people really understand medical answers.

“It isn’t a matter of telling anyone what to do – far from it.  It is about providing factual information about health so decisions about how to manage it for one’s self, is made using the best information possible. I decided to post on blogher.com because it is a place where women and teens go to ask questions about puberty, periods, menstrual health and menopause and to talk to each other about their questions and concerns. “

Elaine invites  anyone with questions to, “Please feel free to ask away!”

Basically she is always on call. Nursing is  a true vocation which has become her part of her personality, her core identity. What does this woman do in her free time? What is her hobby? Why blogging mostly about women’s health at Blogher, what else? She is always exploring  new  creative avenues to become more effective.

Recently she started using video clips inserted into  some blogs because she feels she can engage her audience when they can see her face and hear her voice. She is a woman who has tapped into the power of social media to reach hundreds  if not thousands of women with health questions. Most often the questions are about that taboo subject-menstruation.

I AM An Advocate

Today's prompt for the health blogging marathon I signed up for (blindly, I should add), asks how I have changed as an activist or advocate. My first response was to sputter,

" I am not an advocate  for anything!"

Then I experienced an epiphany of sorts,

"Hey, wait a minute. I stand up for large families in an often hostile society!"

In my experience as a mother of nine children, I have encountered more condemnation than acceptance, more questions that understanding. Perhaps it is because I do not look like the mother of a large family. I am tiny, look younger than my age and all my life people, including twerpy teenagers, have labelled me as cute. So people's first reaction to me is shock. Confusion follows because I am happy. Now a joyful, cute, tiny mother of nine simply baffles people. I shatter all their preconceived notions. The typical image of a multi-para woman would be a large, matronly, robust, grim battle-axe of a mother, efficiently marshaling her young charges with little time to coddle or love the poor deprived dears.

Parents with two children cannot fathom how a mother of a large family manages to cope with all the work to keep up a functional home as well as have enough time to love each child. However, more children are easier than less. If you have one or two children, you have to be everything for them.  In a large family, a seven-year old will read the same book over and over again to a toddler who loves one particular book. A ten-year old feels important when he can help his six-year old brother who struggles with reading. A young teenager delights in rocking a tiny, dependent infant to sleep.

For me, family started with three. I found one child horrendous, two a strain but three was easy. With three, community started. A community works and plays together and for little children work is as fun as play. I included everyone in ordinary household chores and made chores fun. A trained Montessorian told me that I ran my home like a Montessori school. What a wonderful revelation that was for me. My kids were not being deprived because I often could not sit and play with them in the traditional sense. Instead they received an expense educational experience simply because I integrated them into the running of our home.

It was never too soon to give a toddler a play job such as  picking up the toys his younger sibling drops from the high chair, again and again.The secret was to delegate, each according to his or her talents, but never to order around like troops. I always make a conspirator out of everyone. They chop wood, help fix the car, weed the garden, take care of the animals. If they're still treated like kids or overindulged, they don't have a purpose and become really angry as teenagers. When  parents let children know that their contributions are really appreciated,their self-esteem blossoms and matures

Employers love my kids because they know how to work and do not take anything for granted. Many have said,

"I will give anybody with the last name Juneau a job."

Large families strengthen the  basic foundations of our society. They live lives of greater interconnectedness. If you don't have a lot of money, you're not an island unto yourself. You learn how to share, barter skills and products with others. My children who go to college or university adapt well to communal life in a dorm or shared house. Just imagine, they already know how to share a bathroom with a lot of other people. They know how to get along with opposite personalities, how to give and take. For starters, they know how to cook and clean up after themselves.

Healthy, large families benefit society. So open your mind and heart the next time you see or hear of one. The condemnation is really hard to handle and totally unjust in a society that loves to call itself open-minded and tolerant.

STOP. LOOK. GIVE THANKS

sky alone is an extravagant present

There is much to be grateful for if we will simply stop for a moment and really see the details which surround us every day.

Children delight in the plethora of tiny details all around them. They are born with a sense of wonder and the ability to enjoy little things.
I used to walk quickly and with a sense of purpose before I was a mother. I soon learned that even with my first child tucked and fastened into a stroller, a fast pace was almost impossible. Absolutely everything fascinates little people. Things that we consider mundane, drab and boring grab their attention.
Children love to peer closely at tiny objects. Perhaps it is because they are closer to the ground but they stop at every flower and bug, especially a bug on a flower. As they look, touch, smell, even lick each wonderful new discovery, all their attention is riveted on that one thing. At first it was difficult to slow down during our walks and let the toddlers set the pace but it was a wonderful instruction in relaxing and becoming fully present to the moment.
At first I was only capable of enjoying whatever captured my children's notice but now I realize that they were experiencing so much more than I initially thought. In their silent, non-verbal attention to nature, they were in deep communion with God Himself as He is present in His creation. Adults struggle for years to merely glimpse the intimacy that little children have naturally with God. They do not need to strive or work for this state of contemplation because they are without guile, prior opinions or expectations; they are open and look with trust, ready to absorb the love, joy and peace that envelopes them. Children are grateful for everything.
I, too, can learn to live in a constant state of gratitude and thankfulness. Even if I were to live in the midst of a concrete jungle, I could at least stop for a moment, look up and give thanks. I simply need to remind myself to glance upwards, above my little busy world and enjoy the sky. The sky alone is an extravagant present that continually fills me with the joy if I remember to take a break from my "important" business.

.So how Is YOUR Mental Health? Eh?

Mental Health
People make an appointment every year with their G.P. to check out their physical health and reluctantly arrange for a dental check up but why don't people have a professional mental health check up?

So how Is YOUR Mental Health? Eh?

Reading this some people might laugh off the implication that there is anything wrong with them, others might nervously skim the rest of this post. This question is far from ridiculous,though. Have you taken a good look around lately? What do you see and hear?

The whole atmosphere of modern society is stressful because people are anxious about the economy and their job security. They have problems sleeping or self medicate with alcohol, drugs and cigarettes to help 'take the edge off'. More and more sick days are the result of depression and other mental health issues. 

However it never enters most people's minds to seek professional help until they are in a crisis or even must be committed. There still is s stigma attached to mental illness.

Most of us who do seek help, gloss over our issues saying we go for counselling because the labels are so damning."Post traumatic stress disorder, restless leg syndrome, depression, anxiety, sleep disorder, paranoia, panic attacks.... the labels are a terrible stigma. Often people become ashamed and it is no wonder that they do.

Society usually cannot fathom these unseen illnesses and resorts to  an age-old admonishment,

"Pull your self up by the boot straps.

Just push yourself.

Don't be lazy. What's wrong with you, anyway?

You seem fine to me!"

Well I want to yell from the roof tops that just like a person with WITH POOR EYESIGHT NEEDS G LASSES AND A DIABETIC NEEDS INSULIN SOME ORDINARY PEOPLE HAVE CHEMICAL IMBALANCES AND NEED PRESCRIPTION DRUGS. PERIOD.

It is that simple.

No shame.

No guilt.

A simple matter of serotonin levels.

First featured blog on WEGO Health blog

All month long, we'll be featuring the health blogs of our #NHBPM writers.

Today's feature is of Jean's parenting blog: The Joy of Mothering

You can check out Jean's blog here:http://motherofnine9.blogspot.ca/

...See More

The Joy Of Mothering

motherofnine9.blogspot.ca

short stories about raising nine kids on a hobby farm.Humourous/heartwarming, thoughtful/ thought provoking

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Life and Death: A Four-Year Old Chooses

Ultimately, there is a thin veil that separates life and death.

The following is a true story of a four-year old child, in a coma, following a serious car accident.

Chandra was still not conscious when she began to speak to her parents in the ICU. She spoke as if in a dream, describing a big room with two doors where she sat waiting with several other people.  She explained that  she had to decide which door she wanted to walk through.  A really nice man, dressed in white smiled at her and told her that she was completely free to walk through either door. One door would bring her back to her life on earth.  If she liked, she could across the room, take  the nice man's hand and walk through the other door.

In the beginning, Chandra spoke weakly, in a disjointed manner insisting that the nice man loved her so much that she wanted to be with him. As the days passed, she spoke in a stronger voice and began asking her parents,

"Do you love me?"

When they assured Chandra that they loved her she answered,

...I don't know. I really want to be with him. Buttt...maybe I will come back"

The next couple of days were spent in an almost comical dialogue as Chandra asked if her siblings, grand parents and extended family all loved her. After each confirmation, she emerged slowly from her coma, answering in an ever more confidant voice,

"Maybe I will come back!"

Throughout the discussion, Chandra  described the other people in the room, casually mentioning two people who stood up and walked across the waiting room, walking through the second door with the nice man. One was a young guy, who looked just like her young uncle and another an old woman who was like her grandmother. Within minutes of Chandra's announcements,  an elderly woman and a day later a young man died in the ICU.

For her parents, the most startling fact of this entire experience was that tiny Chandra could perhaps choose between two outfits her mother picked out or whether to have an apple or an orange for a snack just a week ago. On earth, she would not make any major life decisions until she was 18 years old. Yet she was deciding whether to live or die.

I am a Happy Square

Every morning I wake up.
I find that I am
An inefficient square.

I hack off the corners,

try to roll through my day
an efficient circle.

.

Despite my best efforts
when I wake up..

I am a square again!


Recently began to
Rejoice in my
inefficiency

the world needs more happy squares
to slow society
down a little bit .