Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Living With Lots of Little people

As a mother of nine kids, people often ask me,

 "How on earth did you manage without any help? "

If I had to divulge one secret that I was fortunate enough to discover early in my mothering career, it would be,

"Never let them get tired and never let them get hungry."

There is a universal image stuck in our brains of  a screaming toddler throwing a tantrum on the floor of a grocery store. Even best parent is reduced to a helpless victimn in these situations because
nobody as miserable and disagreeable as a hungry and irritable baby, toddler, or small child.

When I ignored  the warning signs that my kids were reaching their limits of endurance, I created either a clingy, irritating wimp or a screaming monster.Then NOTHING I did or said seemed to help the situation.
I might have LOOKED like a self-sacrificing mother but I was merely acting out of a sense of self-preservation when I put my kids needs first. No time for resentment because happy and satisfied kids were worth every "sacrifice" I made. The peace was worth any compromise.

One niece once told me that many people had given her advice when she became a new mother but the only thing she always remembered and practiced was,

"Never let them get tired and never let them get hungry."

Monday, 20 February 2012

Wearing Outlandish Clothes in Public

I eventually learned to let go of certain standards  for what a little child should wear in public.  Instead of worrying about what people would think,I let my younger children dress in outlandish clothes, even when we went out. Anthony usually wore a purple batman sweatshirt, black rubber barn boots, a short black cape and an old grey felt fedora hat. This look was a salute to this four-year old's  heroes - Batman, Zorro and a Canadian Mountie.

One day, teenage Melissa went shopping in a large department store with her Dad and Anthony in tow. She had just realized that she couldn't see her brother when a loud announcement was made,
" I have a lost little boy at the customer service desk.  He is wearing a purple batman sweatshirt, black boots, a black cape and a large grey hat. Please come and pick him up."
Of course, it was Melissa who had to pick up Anthony, much to her chagrin.


Oh yes, not to be outdone, my youngest daughter usually followed Anthony around sporting a pair of fairy wings on her back.

My adorable, sweet three year old daughter shouts, " *+#%&**+ ! "


Experience taught me that the easiest and most effective way to influence my children was to ignore negative behaviour and to praise good behaviour  Often if I didn't react to swear words for example, my children soon forgot about them because our family didn't  usually swear. ( Shut up was banned but does mother saying, "Shit" count?)

We had few other kid who lived near because we lived in the sparsely populated greenbelt  which surrounds Ottawa, Canada even before we moved out to our seven acres. However there were three older boys who lived downs the road. Our hockey net attracted the boys at first; they would come over and play road hockey right in front of our house with our older children . Actually everybody was eleven and under back then. David, my fourth, was only five but he was the designated goaly, sporting adult sized pads which almost completely immobilised him. David was thrilled to be included in the road hockey game, even if it meant enduring hockey pucks that relentlessly slammed into his pads.

The hockey scrimmage was the highlight of the day. After dinner, I'd help everyone bundle up against the cold because even our youngest children  refused to be left out of the excitement. They could only waddle outside; scarves wound around their faces and foreheads and just their twinkly eyes were exposed. 


The older boys apparently did not curb their language out there. I discovered this one evening  while tucking three year old Emily in bed.  She had just had a bath, her hair was curling softly around her face and she was in a soft blue sleeper with her thumb in her mouth but she was mad. Rachel, her little sister was still up because she had had a long nap that day.

As I started closing the door, Emily took out her thumb and yelled,
"Close the fucking door you stupid bitch!!!!"

My mouth dropped open and I slowly closed the door without saying a word. I went down the hall in a bit of a daze and slowly said to Michael,
"Do you want to know what Emily just said to me?...".

I didn't mention anything to Emily and  she never repeated those three swear words again.

Anybody have blogging or design tips for a newbe ?

I am very new to this blogging world. I've just signed up to Canadian Dad and I am in awe of Chris Read's website. My old school mind never even dreamt that it was possible to post pictures or design such colourful graphics; I only imagined myself typing words. I think I'll get my youngest child right on it. I also saw that I don't have to write short stilted blogs but I can write to my heart's content.

Sunday, 19 February 2012

Living with Lots of Little People

I took the easy approach with my first blog; I
simply put up an article written about me and published in the Ottawa Citizen two years ago. It captures the joy of mothering and is basically a good introduction to my life. It gives an outsider's view of my family which is objective and therefore more valuable to someone who doesn't know our family personally.
I plan to write short stories focused on a variety of incidents that reveal some of the crazy things that happen in large families. I hope to share not only the humour but also the richness and blessings that come with living with many children.

Thank- you in advance- melanie



Thursday, 16 February 2012

A Mother's Juggling Act

I am taking the easy way out and letting someone else introduce me. This is a newspaper article written about our family two years ago. Although there have been changes, ti does give you an insight into our family life as it was for about 25 years. Earlier than that there were less kids and everybody was little.




Melanie Juneau's juggling act Mother of nine reveals secret to her success By Joanne Laucius, The OttawaCitizen 
 Pairing socks for her nine c is no easy task, says Melanie Juneau. Photograph by: Bruno Schlumberger, The Ottawa Citizen, The Ottawa Citizen

You would think having nine children would turn you into a frazzled wreck with a figure like the Pillsbury Dough Boy and a brain gone to mush.

Not necessarily. Exhibit A: Visit Melanie Juneau's Pakenham-area farmhouse, where the mother of nine is serene in the eye of the hurricane as the winds revolve around her, the CEO of her chaotic domain.

More children are easier than less, she says. "If you have one or two children, you have to be everything for them," she says. "Family starts with three. I found one child horrendous, two a strain. But three was easy. With three, community starts."
The babies didn't stop with three. Melanie had one baby about every 18 months. No regrets about any of them. "Children help you forget what's not important," she says.

 They are, from youngest to oldest: Lucy, a 15-year-old Grade 9 student; Anthony, 17 and planning to start an apprenticeship as an electrician; Katie, 19, a Carleton University student; Rachel, 20, an early childhood educator; Emily, 23, a science graduate who works for a computer company; David, 24, an arbourist; Mara, 26, a chef and recent BA graduate; Melissa, 27, a sales manager, and Matthew, 30, a carpentry apprentice who is renovating a house he bought with his fiancĂ©e.

Melanie was 22 and a student at the University of Regina when she met her husband, Michael. "It was instant attraction. Everyone thought I was going to be a nun librarian," she says. "He saved me."

For the record: The Juneaus are Catholic. Melanie converted at 19 before she met Michael. Coming from a family with only two children, it was a shock to Melanie when she met Michael's sprawling French-Canadian family of eight boys and two girls. Her Protestant grandfather warned her: "At least, don't have a lot of children."
The advice went unheeded. Melanie spent 15 years of her life either nursing or pregnant or both. (That thing about not conceiving while you're nursing? So not true.) At the end of each pregnancy, Melanie always weighed 120 pounds. When she left the hospital, she was 113 pounds. She was invariably back down to about 100 pounds within a few months. At 54, she is still slender as a reed, a genetic gift from her grandmother, another petite woman who bore nine children.

It is never too soon, Melanie believes, to give a toddler a "job" -- picking up the toys his younger sibling drops from the high chair, for example. The secret is to delegate, each according to his or her talents, but never to order around like troops. As Melanie puts it: "I always make a conspirator out of everyone." The older children helped the younger ones with homework. They chop wood, help fix the car, weed the garden, take care of the animals. They know how to barter. "If they're still treated like kids or overindulged, they don't have a purpose," says their mother.

The Juneaus buy salad dressing and ketchup by the gallon and eight 50-pound bags of potatoes, which they keep in a cold storage room along with the carrots and cabbage they grow in the garden on the six-acre farm. They raise three free-range pigs a year, two to sell and one to eat; raise meat chickens and have 12 laying hens. A 12-pound chicken makes three meals -- first as a roast, next as a stir fry and finally as soup. Grocery bills average about $100 a week.

Mara, the one who later became a chef, was the cook in the family. "I had Anthony on my shoulder and Mara made pastry for 12 pies," says Melanie. "Her pastry was flakier than mine, and she was 11."

One non-essential thing got dropped for every child Melanie had. Drawing portraits went first. Baking her own bread went when David arrived. Houseplants (at least those that stood no chance of survival) were gone with the arrival of Melissa. With Mara, it was folding laundry. To this day, Melanie simply leaves each child's laundry, unfolded, in a basket in their room.

Naturally, in a large family there's not a lot of money left over for what kids in many other families take for granted. "If you want in-style runners or brand-name jeans, you need to have a job," says Melanie. At 15, Lucy, whose grade average is 92 per cent, already has a job so she can save up money to go on a school trip to New York City.

Resentment has bubbled up from time to time, but rarely lasts, says Melanie. Some of the Juneau children couldn't wait to move out and live in the city, but most have returned to live nearby. Four are still at home. They all want more than two children each.

Large families live lives of greater interconnectedness. If you don't have a lot of money, you're not an island unto yourself, says Melanie. The Juneau children who go to college or university adapt well to communal life in a dorm or shared house. For starters, they know how to cook and clean up after themselves.

 Melanie has a few tips on raising a large family:
1. Ignore the bad and praise the good.
2. Don't get upset over messes.
 3. If it's not broken, it probably should be.
4. Bored children never stay bored for long, so don't worry about it. They will pick up a book or a pencil. (The Juneaus went for two years without a TV set.)

"The only thing that will kill you with nine kids is pairing socks," says Melanie.

 All of the socks in the Juneau household are black.
Happy Mother's Day, Mrs. Juneau.

 © Copyright (c) The Ottawa Citizen http://www.ottawacitizen.com/Melanie+Juneau+juggling/3001906/story.html#ixzz0nKjgfidR