Mother’s? Hilarious Opinions from Little people

A little taste of  eight-year old reasoning.  A reality check to balance all those manipulative commercials and sentimental Mother’s Day cards that are flooding the market place. Warning. The following true comments  are not politically correct. So simply laugh and enjoy, no need to flog me with feminist remarks.

Answers given by grade two school children to the following questions:

What kind of a little girl was your mum?

1. My mum has always been my mum and none of that other stuff.
2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

If you could change one thing about your mum, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.
2. I’d make my mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

What would it take to make your mum perfect?

1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue. 

Why did God make mothers

1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mum just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

 What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mum?

1. We’re related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s mom like me.

 What did mum need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

 Why did your mum marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

 Who’s the boss at your house?

1. Mum doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball.
2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mum is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What’s the difference between mums and dads?

1. Mums work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but Mums have all the real power cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Mums have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mum do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don’t do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

FELL FREE TO PASS THIS ALONG TO ANY MOTHER NEEDING A GOOD LAUGH from Bonnie

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Letting Our Shadows Out of the Closet

Mental Health.

Well I want to yell from the roof tops that just like a person with poor eyesight needs glasses and a diabetic needs insulin, some very ordinary people have a chemical imbalance and need prescription drugs.

Darin Hammond

How IS Your Mental Health? Eh?

Reading this some people might laugh off the implication that there is anything wrong with them, others might nervously skim the rest of this post. This question is far from ridiculous,though. Have you taken a good look around lately? What do you see and hear?

The whole atmosphere of modern society is stressful because people are anxious about the economy and their job security. They have problems sleeping or self medicate with alcohol, drugs and cigarettes to help 'take the edge off'. More and more sick days are the result of depression and other mental health issues. However it never enters most people's minds to seek professional help until they are in a crisis or even must be committed. There still is s stigma attached to mental illness.

Most of us who do seek help, gloss over our issues saying we go for counselling because the labels are so damning."Post traumatic stress disorder, restless leg syndrome, depression, anxiety, sleep disorder, paranoia, panic attacks.... the labels are a terrible stigma. Often people become ashamed and it is no wonder that they do.

People usually cannot understand these unseen illnesses. So they simply fall back on age-old admonishments,

"Pull your self up by the boot straps.

Just push yourself.

Don't be lazy. What's wrong with you, anyway?

You seem fine to me!"

Well I want to yell from the roof tops that just like a person with poor eyesight needs glasses and a diabetic needs insulin, some very ordinary people have a chemical imbalance and need prescription drugs.

It is that simple.

No shame.

No guilt.

A simple matter of serotonin levels. Anxiety and/or depression is merely a wake-up call for us to seek counselling and open our mental closets, setting  shadows free.

Catholic Spirituality Blogs Network: Find your spiritual idiolect at Catholic Spiritual...

Catholic Spirituality Blogs Network: Find your spiritual idiolect at Catholic Spiritual...: by Connie Rossini   John Writes to Sardis and Philadelphia from the Bamberg Apocalypse (Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons) . ...

Words

Daily Prompt: The Glass

Is the glass half-full, or half-empty?

The perennial test, to decide whether a person is a pessimist or an optimist is to show them a glass of water similar to the photo on the right and ask them to describe it. They will answer either that the glass is half full or half empty. This exercise seems ridiculous at first glance but our answers really are telling and can give us a wake-up call.

Do I wear clear, rose or mud coloured eye glasses when I look around? Therapists believe that recognition of our foibles and faults is 90% of the problem. If we are brave enough to look at ourselves with clear, fully transparent eye glasses, we can change. When we are desperate, we take our feet off the brakes that prevent inner growth and jump-start a process that takes on a life of its own.

Words, especially descriptive words are powerful. What comes out of our mouths really does help bring sunshine or shadows into our lives and those around us. Even without applying cognitive therapy, by simply catching ourselves using overly negative adjectives, we really can change our emotional reactions to life.  Let’s pay attention to the words that come out of our mouths, especially to our children. We are helping shape their future.

My Heart is Not in Stuff

MY HEART IS NOT IN STUFF

Melanie Jean Juneau | May 5, 2013 | [3]

A  month ago,  a WordPress Daily Prompt asked writers if we could only take five objects from a burning house, what would be the most difficult things for us to leave behind?  Well really, the only objects I consider to be important are photos of family, my computer, passport and ID, a bible and bank card, assuming that I am wearing my wedding ring and gold cross like always. That’s it.

As for regrets, I really do not think that my heart is in things. Since I was a little girl, I have felt content with what I have materially. Even now, when my nine kids ask me what I want for Christmas, I pause for a moment with a blank mind. I have to search to come up with a list.

Rather a strange state to be in because this is not the result of spiritual striving, fasting or prayer, it is just how I am. Living with little people has only strengthened an innate tendency to enjoy the little things, to be grateful to be alive and in communion with the Spirit. In addition, as a large family with barely enough cash but many blessings, we have experienced many incidents of God’s providence. This scripture resonates within all of us.

MATTHEW 6:25-34

DO NOT WORRY

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Kids understand these words, reminding me that the key to happiness and joy is not stuff but thankfulness and appreciation for the beauty that surrounds us. There is much to be grateful for if we will simply stop for a moment and really see what actually surround us every day. Children delight in the plethora of tiny details all around them. They are born with a sense of wonder and the ability to enjoy simple pleasures.  Perhaps it is because they are closer to the ground when we tried to go for a walk but they stopped at every flower and bug, especially a bug on a flower. As  they look, touch, smell, even lick each wonderful new discovery, all their attention is riveted on that one thing. At first it was difficult to slow down during our walks and let the toddlers set the pace but it was a wonderful instruction in how to relax and become fully present to the moment.

At first I was only capable of enjoying whatever captured my children’s notice bu t now I realize that they were experiencing so much more than I initially thought. In their silent, non-verbal attention to nature, they were in deep communion with God Himself as He is present in His creation. Adults struggle for years to merely glimpse the intimacy that little children have naturally with God. They do not need to strive or work for this state of contemplation because they are without guile, prior opinions or expectations; they are open and look with trust, ready to absorb the love, joy and peace that envelopes them. Children are grateful for everything.

Ah, to live in a constant state of gratitude and thankfulness is a taste of heaven. Even if I were to live in the midst of a concrete jungle, I could at least stop for a moment, look up and give thanks. I simply need to remind myself to glance upwards, above my little busy world and enjoy the sky. The sky alone is an extravagant present that continually fills me with the joy if I remember to take a break from my ‘important’ business. Every time we attend mass, we are constantly reminded to give thanks to a Heavenly Father simply because life in, with and through Him is a joyful experience no matter what our situation.

“The Eucharist is a sacrifice of thanksgiving to the Father, a blessing by which the Church expresses her gratitude to God for all his benefits, for all that he has accomplished through creation, redemption, and sanctification.  Eucharist means first of all ‘thanksgiving’” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1360).

A Photo Salute to Book Lovers

     

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The Terrible Two's, Teenage Style

                                                         

                                                                                                                     Living through teenage drama without loosing your sanity

I like to compare teenagers to two-year olds because the very same dynamic is unfolding, only this time it is a stressful transition from childhood to adulthood that requires many years to complete. I read somewhere that 25 is the age that young adults finally get an adult brain! In our family, we actually celebrate that birthday and welcome our offspring into full adulthood.

Teens are adjusting to their rapidly changing bodies. Sometimes teenagers, boys especially like to prove their new-found strength. David loved to come behind me in the kitchen and with a huge grin on his face pick me up and swing me around or even turn me upside down!.

“Oh well”, I’d think to myself, “This too will pass, this too will pass.”
It did take a couple of teens to break my husband and me in, but bythe time our fourth kid turned 13, we understood that it was pointless to overreact. One of my sons , in his early teens, had just announced that he could not stand living under our roof another minute,

“I’m out of here!”, he bellowed, “and don’t expect me to come back!”

The door slammed and he tore off on his ten speed bike. Of course my father was visiting and witnessed this dramatic episode. After a few minutes

Dad turned to my husband and wondered,

" Aren’t you going to go after him?”

Michael calmly kept reading, then looked up and explained,

“Oh, I’m not worried. The only place near enough to bike to is one of his buddy’s and they don’t feed kids over there. He’ll be back when he is hungry enough.”

Sure enough, hunger brought my son home late that night. We did not need to pronounce any ultimatums because the recognition that he still needed to live at home and attempt to get along with our rules was humiliating enough. No need to rub his face in the facts.Teenagers are often humiliated by their mistakes in judgment so they relish the opportunity to catch us in the wrong.
For example, Michael’s usual response to swearing, disrespect or a poor attitude was,

“Leave that sort of stuff at school!”

One evening at the dinner table on a Sunday, Michael yelled in anger at the dog. David had just filled his plate and was coming back to the table. He leaned over, looked at his dad and with a twinkle in his eye and a huge grin on his face said ,

“Leave that sort of stuff at church, eh Dad!”

Michael snapped out of his bad mood and had to smile. The kid was right. David’s humour diffused the situation and Michael was the one who had to apologize this time.

Teenagers love to rile their parents, to flaunt rules and standards in a blind wish to figure out who they are in and of themselves. If I remember this fact, I don’t overreact to obnoxious behaviour or crazy fashions. As parents, we are often counselled to choose our battles with our children and refrain from forbidding all crazy fashion experiments. About 90% of the time, I have to admit that some disagreements, with my teens especially, were not worth fighting over and as the most mature person in the equation, I should probably acquiesce as gracefully as possible.

Ah, this too will pass. Just don’t fall off your chair at the dinner table when one of your young adults turns to you and asks how your day went!