Life According to Pooh Bear

“What day is it?”
It’s today,” squeaked Piglet.
My favorite day,” said Pooh.”

Winnie-the-Pooh by A.A. Milne is a children’s classic, that can be enjoyed by all ages. Interestingly, Milne didn’t write the Pooh stories and poems for children but instead intended them for the child within us. So if this book wasn’t in your childhood, don’t dismiss it.

 This book follows Winnie the Pooh and his friends on their adventures through the Hundred Acre Woods. Winnie, Piglet and all the other friends in the 100 Acre Wood  are great because everyone has some sort of problem. Pooh is painfully naïve, Piglet is neurotic, Owl is a narcissist, Eeyore has major depression, Tigger is hyperactive, Rabbit is a sociopath. It’s good for kids to learn that pretty much anyone you meet will have some sort of major problem.

Pooh embraces each day with enthusiasm and joy, savoring each moment as he lives in the present, simply connecting with nature and his friends. Adults spend decades meditating to come to this state of being. So read and enjoy these whimsical quotes and delightful drawings by A.A. Milnes and allow his philosophy to seep into your heart.

Laughter

Humor is infectious, especially  roaring laughter. Not only that,  when laughter is shared, it  brings people together by breaking down social barriers, self-consciousness and  facilitates intimacy. It  triggers healthy physical changes in the body by strengthening  our immune system, boosting energy, diminishing pain and stress.

“Your sense of humor is one of the most powerful tools you have to make certain that your daily mood and emotional state support good health.”

~ Paul E. McGhee, Ph.D.

Yep, laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict.

 Humor lightens our burdens, inspires hope and keeps us in reality.

Laughter is free.

Laughter is powerful.

Laughter is contagious and addictive.

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

SMILE> GIGGLE> LAUGH>

The Joke Is on Us

My maiden name is Myers

How many Myers Women does it take to drive a car in my mum’s home town?

Answer: 3

• My sister clutching the wheel, drives in circles until she can find a parking spot where she can drive straight through to the next row. She refuses to back out of a parking space. She constantly asks,

“But, Mum, I need a street name or at least an idea of how far up this street I have to go.”

• My 80-year old mother checking for traffic.

                             ”Emily, Emily, watch out! A car is coming!”

• And finally me in the back seat with a map because my mother never learned the street names.

“But Mum, is it east or west? Do you at least remember the first letter of the street name.?”

The Steer’s Pincushion Nose

Cows look dumb and lumber slowly but believe it or not, they are extremely curious. One day as a child, my sister,cousin and I sat on the edge of a stream to eat a picnic, realizing to late that a herd of cattle surrounded us on three sides to get a closer look at us. My heart was pounding as we gathered up our lunch, huddled closely together and facing the cattle, slowly edged away. I swear those steers followed us every step of the way, never taking their eyes off us. It was an eerie experience, the stuff of nightmares.

The old saying “curiosity killed the cat, should really say ” curiosity killed the cow”. Cows, calves and steers must be extremely bored because they generally investigate any foreign object or creature which finds itself in their domain. Unfortunately cattle explore small creatures by nudging them with their noses. This is a stupid habit when investigating a porcupine.

After encountering a porcupine, our poor calf couldn’t eat because he had thirty of forty long, barbed quills embedded in his nose. A dog can be held down, but a 1,000 lb. calf is not as easy to restrain. We tried, ropes and all our kids to hem him in but it was completely ineffective. Finally my husband opened one gate and pinned the calf in by swinging the gate back against the fence. Several kids pushed against the gate , two others pulled on ropes near his head and Michael attempted to pull out the quills. It was an exercise in futility as the calf was still able to toss and shake his head in pain. The only thing that brought him relief was when we pushed his nose into the huge tank of cold water in the corral.

Finally we admitted defeat and called the local large animal vet. Of course she tranquilized him, froze his nose and pulled the quills out effortlessly, though kids still pushed all their weight against the restraining gate and pulled on ropes while Michael held him in a head lock. Luckily the vet was so amused by our kids theatrics and comments that she gave us a discount.

Challenging Cosmopolitan Taste Buds

Backwoods cuisine  served with comic results.

My husband and a  rather eccentric  friend had driven up to the Quebec side, in the Canadian Shield, to fish in one of the thousands of lakes which surround us. Driving home in the twilight they inadvertently drove over a porcupine. Now Michael and his friend  P.J. had lived in the wilderness for a few months after university, surviving on fish, an old turtle, rice and coffee. Never one to waste good organic meat, P.J. immediately yelled,

” Mike, pull over. Porcupine is good eating.”

This was the opportunity of a lifetime. Porcupines are protected because they are easy to kill if a man is lost in the woods, simply bop him on the nose and this waddling lazy animal provides a delicious, tender meal.The two survivalists decided to nail this road kill to a tree so they could skin and gut  him without injury. They arrived home chuckling over their good fortune, still debating the best way to cook the tender meat.  Finally, they decided to stuff the meat with a bread, onion, garlic and herbs and wrap it in bacon.

Suddenly a wicked idea popped into my head,

” John is coming over for dinner tomorrow. He is so conservative but loves to act artistic and sophisticated. What if I served roasted porcupine?”

P.J. burst out laughing,

” And don’t say a thing until he has eaten at least half of his meal. I would love to see the look on his face!”

The following evening John arrived  wearing a tweed jacket with his  shirt collar and cuffs  pulled up over it, a scarf casually draped around his neck and a jaunty beret. Michael and I secretly smiled at each other as he raved over the delicious meal. Smiling mischievously I casually remarked,

“John, did you know that you are actually eating porcupine?”

He froze, fork held in mid-air with a brief look of horror on his face,

“Mel, you are joking, right?”

“Not at all”, I replied, “Since you are so very cosmopolitan, I just knew you would enjoy something exotic.”

John smiled weakly, nodded and then slowly lowered his fork. He did not eat another bite of his meat.

Trading Places?: You Must be Joking!

Daily Prompt: Trading Places

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a member of the opposite sex for a day? What do you think life would be like?

Just when I finally quit trying to be more like my logical husband, someone asks this ridiculous question. Finally I have embraced that I am a woman who is an intuitive, creative, feeling, perceptive person who is a circular thinker. I am content to drive my husband crazy.

Viva la difference.

When I was little, I thought that boys were loud and generally obnoxious.  Harsh, I know, but all their testosterone driven aggression and rough play was so foreign to my own temperament, that I considered them to be practically an alien race of beings. I have neverwanted to morph into a boy or man because being female is an intrinsic part of who I am.

So, please, do not try to tell me that little boys and men are just socially conditioned to behave in a different way than little girls or women. I loudly declare that, even as babies, little boys are intrinsically different from little girls and I celebrate that difference with joy. The fact is that the differences between the sexes is an example of nature  not  nurture.

Since I grew up with only one sister, my boys constantly surprised me. As toddlers, my three sons would stare at wheels turning as they ran toy cars back and forth again and again, totally engaged in this repetitious action. I simply watched with my mouth hanging open. It was an inborn obsession that developed into any machine that had wheels. Tricycles, bicycles, wagons, lawn tractors, cars and trucks were not only driven but also examined in minute detail. The boys turned bikes upside down to check wheels, fill tires and fiddle with the gears. Even more hours went by with my sons’ heads stuck under the hood of a car. My boys also seemed born with the ability to drive anything with an engine. While the girls struggled to learn how to drive cars (just ask their frustrated father), the boys learned effortlessly.

I did try to draw out the ‘feminine’ side of my boys. For example, one day Matthew was about four or five and he asked for his sister’s water proof doll.  I was so pleased. I thought,

“Yes! I have raised a son with nurturing instincts!”

When I came back into the bathroom a few minutes later, the head was off the doll and he was holding the rubber tubing connecting the doll’s mouth to its bottom. Matthew was making loud machine noises as he lowered the head into the water, filled it, slowly lifted his self-made swinging bucket and then swung the head around like a crane, pouring water into a plastic pail. Matthew’s actions startled me. I started to laugh at my son, my efforts to change him and this whole nature versus nurture controversy.

I celebrate the glorious difference between men and women, husbands and wives, mothers and fathers. The world would be a better place if women were allowed to help lead business and political spheres without taking on ‘masculine’ characteristics. The world would be kinder and more compassionate.

Viva la difference.