Happiness Depends on Perception

Our happiness depends on our perception of the world.

Even on bleak days

there are certain facts that I stand on

I am alive,

healthy

not living on the street

but in a large old, quirky house

with acres of gardens, trees and meadows.

I am still married after almost 35 years

with 9 healthy, successful adult kids and 5 grandkids

loved by my family and God,

even if I drive them crazy with my eccentricity

I have a computer,

two hands with all my fingers to type

and time to write for the first time in three decades.

reasons to rejoice

reasons that I stand on every day’

even on bad days

How you answer the old question, “Is the glass half full or half empty” really does matter. It is amazing how I can turn my misery switch on and off and my joy button on and off. It really does matter how I view the world. It is a matter of taking a step back and looking at the big picture.

Do I choose to squint and focus on the thorns or do I step back and see the beauty of the entire bush. Do I focus on every miserable detail that goes wrong in my life or do I step back and thank God for everything that is right with it.

Mutual RespectL Listen to the Children:

“Mum, mum! Come see what I made!”

“Can you read me a book?”

“I tried and tried but it just won’t stay together.”

“Mum, can we talk?”

“Would you help me edit this essay? It’s due tomorrow.”

“Let’s do something together.”

No matter what our occupation, we tend to think that our work, our agenda is important. It is almost in our nature to let ambition and drive push other people to the fringes of our awareness while we toil in an isolated bubble of self-importance. There are many methods that can shake us out of this selfish obsession but for me as a mother, it was my children.

Of course sometimes children need to learn patience, learn to wait but I discovered that usually their needs were immediate. Even if a problem seemed minor to me, it was monumental to one of my little people. A block tower which took 30 minutes to build and 30 seconds for a toddler to destroy was equal to an adult’s business deal that took 3 weeks to set up and a day to fall apart.

Brushing off their concerns was often a temptation.

“Oh, it’s nothing. Don’t over react.”

“Not now. I am busy.”

“Can’t you see that what I am doing is more important?”

To respond to my kids or in the case of any adult, to respond to interruptions to work, requires surrendering to the duty of the moment. To respond to an interruption often means we must put our agenda to the side for a moment and embrace the agenda of another person, especially if it is a mere child.

The biggest stumbling block to truly listening, especially to children, is our self-important business. Henri Nouwen SJ, a Jesuit author and university professor, complained to God about all the undergraduate students who knocked on his office door, interrupting his important writing. God’s answer?

“I just gave you that book to write to keep you busy in between appointments;

your real work is all these interruptions.”

Life Lessons from a 90 year old

I rarely repost but this list is a treasure trove of common sense and practical spirituality. These 45 Life lessons were on Stumble Upon

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short not to enjoy it.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for things that matter.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye… But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful.  Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to be happy.  But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose Life.

28. Forgive but don’t forget.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d
grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need.

42. The best is yet to come…

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

(Source: reginabrett.com)

September 17, 2012 Reblog personal life life lessons

Memories, Turned Into Stories, Never Die

i travelled from afar to look once again at

a magical place from my childhood,

the birthplace,

of stories and dreams,

where imagination and creativity

took flight, never weighed down by commonsense.

BUT

my tiny kingdom had been destroyed by progress.

i stood  on hot concrete,

staring incredulously at a large edifice of

glass like steel and steel like glass.

searching my memories,

i did not see this

man-made monstrosity.

rather, reflected in the mirror like steel,

i see a cluster of wild apple trees,

stunted and gnarled.

through the eyes of a child

these wild trees were a magical orchard,

created just for me.

i sat in the tall grass,

shaded by succulent fruit,

listening to a symphony of insects and birds,

watching stories unfold in the clouds.

it was a Garden of Eden.

for a creative child,

the perfect backdrop

for imaginary tales,

tales which progress

will never destroy.

stories outlast cities.

stories,

part of our shared, collective consciousness,

living where neither rust nor mold can destroy them.

stories live on in us.

Living with little people keeps you young

Advertisers have tapped into a universal craving to stop the relentless ravages of time in the human body by pushing countless gimmicks to keep us youthful. These products keep us healthy but the secret fountain of youth is not a thing to buy but rather an attitude, an inner way of living in Christ.

Youth is not found in a bottle of vitamins or in a jar of face cream.

Youth is found when we connect with the source of all life deep within,in the ground of our being.

There are countless ways to connect with the Holy Spirit but as a mother, I discovered a secret, a secret few people seem to recognize.

Living with little people keeps you young.

Children live in the present moment, filled with awe at the discovery of a ladybug, fascinated with observing how sand spills through their fingers or completely absorbed as they create a clay sculpture. Mothers concentrate on giving love and nurture to their offspring but if we don’t allow our little ones to nurture us we can become tired, empty and even resentful.

An infant touches our hearts when we gaze into their guileless eyes but there is much more grace that we can receive if we relax and allow their their love to flow into us!

In the early, hectic years I would focus on trying to carve out quiet time to sit and replenish myself.

One day while nursing one of my babies, I experienced a powerful surge of love pouring into my heart from my baby to me. I started smiling, heaviness and exhaustion lifted and joy started to bubble up from deep within me! In fact I discovered how to let my infant’s love, in union with the Love of God,  fill me, replenish me, energize me and infuse my heart with a fountain of youth.

intelligence having fun

“creativity is intelligence having fun”  albert einstein

I love to create something out of nothing. Perhaps it is a God complex or better yet, a sense of cooperating with the Holy Spirit. I discovered how to upcycle old sheets into crocheted rag rugs. It went so quickly and was so much fun that I actually smiled the entire 3 hours it took to make a beautiful circular rug. 

Since I used a huge crochet hook and made the stitches loose, the rug is soft and puffy. I am thrilled to realize that I can make house-warming gifts for two daughters as they move into new apartments as they start the university term and for a third daughter who has just moved. They will make great, gifts for my grandchildren to play on AND will cost me nothing more than a box of fabric dye.

WOW = Words of Wisdom

Time for a Smile

And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then He made the earth round...and laughed and laughed and laughed...

Transformed in an Instant into a Mother

When I gave birth to my first baby,

I was re-born as well.

My fears of inadequacy

Instantly swept aside

A surge of motherly love and joy

rose up within my spirit and heart.

A sense of awe

at the miracle of creation overwhelmed us

as we examined tiny, perfectly formed fingers, nails and toes.

We marvelled at his resemblance to us

I was startled by the innate instinct for survival

as my newborn rooted hungrily and nursed

before I even left the delivery room.

Our baby turned his head sharply at the sound of our voices

he recognized our voices!

He focused intensely on my face

he bonded to me  making

sure that I bonded to him.

This entire process of becoming a mother was automatic

I reconized the this was a gift,

Pure and simple.

Happiness

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. -Oscar Wilde 

Children Delight in Pets

The Canadian scientist, David Suzuki , believes that all children need to bond with animals and if they haven’t the chance to connect with real animals then they will turn their attention to stuffed or cartoon animals to try to fulfil that inborn desire. He calls it a “grotesque” substitution. I think there is a lot of truth to Suzuki’s idea. Animals are part of creation and to live as we were intended to live, we need to touch the earth, plants and animals as well as other people to grow into well-adjusted adults.

I developed the opinion  that children have a deep-seated need to relate to animals while watching my own kids interact with our pets and farm animals.  Since I grew up in the city, with ballet lessons, books and only one loving cat, I was as fascinated as my kids with the arrival of tiny balls of fluff called chicks, cute piglets and tiny kittens.We all gathered around  excitedly, not wanting to miss anything.

These artists seem to agree.

pere borrell del caso paintings -

Jules Bastien-Lepage, The Small Beggar Asleep, 1882

Jie-Wei Zhou.

Jeanne Vodden Art

Rudolf Koivu

Nancy Noel

Sir Henry Raeburn Boy and Rabbit

Daniel Gerhartz

Arthur John Elsley

William-Adolphe Bouguereau completed in 1889.