When the words "the joy of mothering " popped into my head as a title for my short stories it was like an epiphany for me because those few words verbalized my experience living with little people. The very existence of a joyful mother of nine children seems to confound people. Indeed, it has been a long journey from confusion, guilt and the experience of public condemnation to reach the liberating point that I am today.
I can now shout loudly,"This is my call, this is my vocation, this is my witness to the world."
After the birth of our fourth child, Michael and I struggled to understand exactly how we were meant to live our lives. We were discussing an article by an author whose main premise was that 'letting go of control and trusting in God ' was not some abstract principle but a day to day practical call that included the surrender of our fertility. Of course we practised natural family planning but I was one of those rare individuals who could conceive long before ovulation.
As my doctor said once, "Ah, I remember reading about a woman in New Zealand, two years ago, who conceived five days before ovulation."
I raised my hand and chirped, "Well, you can add me to that list!"
Although we could not imagine how large our family was meant to become, the words of that article
resonated within both my husband and I. It took time to accept the fact none of our children were a failure of the natural family planning method. We'd stumbled blindly at times and then a burst of clarity would shine light on our purpose.
For example, twenty-five years ago, I once again slipped into panic, worrying if I was pregnant with my fifth child. Suddenly a wave of peace enveloped me and my whole body relaxed.
"This is your call. This is your vocation. This is your witness to the world."
All sorts of objections rushed into my head,
"People don't understand. They just think we are irresponsible or idiots."
Then unexpected joy bubbled within me and I sensed these words in my spirit, "I am with you.".
That was it for me; I understood and I said "yes".
Big families were pretty common in the past. It's fascinating to see how cultural prejudices shift from one pole to the other. It's your life, your family, your body, and it's nobody's business but your own.
ReplyDeleteyour comments bring tears to my eyes-
Deletethank-you
Children are gifts from God and it is indeed a blessing to have children. My mother would be happy to read this article because as i said before i came from a family of nine and we had good times. Yes there were the fights but we lived, laughed a lot and love kept us together as one. I would say God has blessed you greatly and nothingprofound mentioned big family are common but not only in the past as it is still a big in the Caribbean and among Jewish people.
ReplyDeleteYes, there are still some cultures that have large families. I can't imagine living in a house with 9 children. I think I would have to have my own white padded cell with a straight jacket hanging behind the door.
ReplyDeleteMotherofnine9. If you can afford to look after them financially, emotionally and they are not harassing the neighbours or neighbourhood, and they are not on the police wanted list, then thumbs up to you. I admire your ability to do such as job, as it is flaming hard work.