Friday, 24 February 2012

Unique as a snowflake

 Same parents and environment but each offspring inherits not only different physical genes but different character traits as well. My oldest child, Matthew, was very serious and contemplative, at eleven or twelve months, he would sit and slowly place household objects in a plastic jug after observing each object careful. He would then dump them out and start all over again, all in silence. At four, Michael taught Matthew how to play checkers. Both males would sit in silence, contemplating each move.

When my second child, Melissa, was born everything we thought we knew about child development was blown to bits. Where Matthew was cautious, she was daring. She was only nine or ten months old, when I walked into the kitchen and found her sitting on the fridge! I froze in shock and yelled for her father to come witness this event. Michael had decided that by four, a child was ready to play checkers. After only twenty minutes of playing with his daughter, he was becoming very upset because Melissa was standing up, hopping from foot to foot and jumping checkers backwards and forwards, skipping two, three, four squares at a time. Finally I intervened and said," Honey, I don't think Melissa is going to play checkers like Matthew; you're just going to have to let go and go with the flow."  p.s Michael didn't play checkers with Melissa for another few years. Melissa? She was happy doing her own thing and glad to leave that particular activity to the males in the family. Every child is a completely different character. There are certain, general guide lines a book can give you about child psychology, but ultimately it is up to the parents to intuitively and tentatively discover which approach clicks with each little person. I just remembered another storey. Melissa was about fifteen or sixteen months old gleefully picking up worms as we dug up the garden. Matthew at three and a half, acting on some deep macho instinct, forced himself to pick up worms too. Melissa had a peaceful sleep that night. Matt? He woke up screaming with visions of worms dancing in his head.

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