Once I became a mother, suddenly eight hours was devoted to nursing burping, soothing, changing, bathing and washing clothes (the baby's as well as mine which were often blasted with spit up and other nasty surprises). Floors had to be cleaned, washed almost daily because babies and toddlers LIVE on the floor, bathrooms and kitchens reasonably santized. At first I tried to do everything around the house that I had done before I became a mother but even acrobatic, muli- taskers are forced to be reasonable. I finally capitulated and grudgingly accepted the fact that what was essential was clean clothes, clean little bodies, clean kitchen and bathrooms--period. Most anything else I liked to keep up was for status, keeping up with fashions or trying to give visitors a good impression. Sometimes I had to give myself a good shake and let go of an impossible standard and and remind myself that a peaceful, centred mom has peaceful and happy kids.
Two things helped me put everything into perspective:
If I cleaned my house everyday for two weeks at the end of that time period, myhouse would be clean.
If I cleaned my house once a week for two weeks, at the end of the experiment, my house would be clean.
And what if I cleaned my house only once, at the end of the two weeks?
My house would be just as claean as if I did it everyday. It might take a little bit longer is all.
This new way of viewing housework lifted a whole burden of guilt off my shoulders.
The second, acrobatic trick is the ability to operate in two different gears, slow and patient and fast and furious.
Fast and furious is for the moments when they are sleeping, or occupied but don't try to do too much
If I cleaned my house once a week for two weeks, at the end of the experiment, my house would be clean.
And what if I cleaned my house only once, at the end of the two weeks?
My house would be just as claean as if I did it everyday. It might take a little bit longer is all.
This new way of viewing housework lifted a whole burden of guilt off my shoulders.
The second, acrobatic trick is the ability to operate in two different gears, slow and patient and fast and furious.
Fast and furious is for the moments when they are sleeping, or occupied but don't try to do too much
like I did at first.
Slow and patient is best for ANYTHING to do with little kids.
If you try to rush them, they dig in their heels, become antagonistic and angry. Trust me; slow and patient gets better results because everyone is calm. Let them fumble and try to do things on their own. In the end, even if they look a little odd, they feel proud and become more and more independent. Sometimes checked pants are worn with a polka dot top but they did it on their own!
Slow and patient is best for ANYTHING to do with little kids.
If you try to rush them, they dig in their heels, become antagonistic and angry. Trust me; slow and patient gets better results because everyone is calm. Let them fumble and try to do things on their own. In the end, even if they look a little odd, they feel proud and become more and more independent. Sometimes checked pants are worn with a polka dot top but they did it on their own!
Little people's happiness and self growth are more important than what outsiders` think about our homes or their appearance. I don't want to die and find out my priorities were all wrong, that I chose public approval over love.
Amen Sister!
ReplyDeleteCousin Matt